Nothin'

This is my last chance for a blog posting occuring in August. Not that that matters really, August has been a pretty mundane month with the exception of these really great broiled oysters I had about two weeks ago. But seriously, those oysters were good. I could have eaten 800 of those suckers, probably ending in vomit and tears, but would have been worth the story. I guess I really just like seafood.

I have decided that since this month has mostly consisted of normal routine things such as losing ones job, laying out in the sun, eating good food (i.e. the oysters), spending money I don't have, and filling up my gas tank way too much, that this entry will be about.... Nothing.

First off, Nothing is exactly what it sounds like. Not Anything, or, No Single Thing. I just did a bit of research regarding the definition be there any doubt surrounding my previous statement. I feel like there are a lot of Nothings to be had. Nothing to lose. Nothing to gain. Nothing but trouble. Nothing on your plate. Nothing but net. and my personal favorite, That red bump on your private areas is Nothing but an ingrown hair.

When it comes to "You can't get something for nothing", I beg to differ. I have gotten a few somethings for nothing. Probably only because I have two large mounds of relatively perky fatty tissue growing off my chest that gets smushed together when I wear lowcut shirts. I have found that this phenomena only works for the female species however. Men with lowcut shirts and chesty fat mounds (a.k.a bitch tits) have a 99% chance of NEVER getting something for nothing. They usually have to pay for it.

I'm actually surprised that Nothing has turned out to be such a broad topic on which to base ones bloggage. Google just told me there are 542,000,000 cases of Nothing on the internet. Now that is really something. When I began my exploration into Nothing , I really didnt realize how big Nothing had gotten and how much Nothing is out there. People are even writing songs about Nothing. Sineade.

I have always had a slight distaste for Sineade O'conner. Not her music. Just her. I think its the whole shaved head thing. I know its all about rebelling and breaking the boundaries of femininity but I still think its a bit awkward and a lot unattractive. Anyways, the best part of Sineade's bald head is that it really has nothing at all to do with all this talk of Nothing. Except for the fact that there is Nothing long and shiny growing from her head that can easily be pulled back in a ponytail.

I will still give So'C props for writing my favorite Nothing song.